Again and Again

I did it again. I lost it. My daughter had a meltdown, complete with blood curdling scream, because I asked her to finish her breakfast and get dressed, and I yelled right back. Loud enough, again, that  I feared the neighbour would notice. I can fish for an answer, excuse, or an explanation all I’d like, but the fact is, I lost it.

I’m an adult, the one the kids are supposed to look to so they can learn, and I let my emotions get the best of me again. I keep hearing things like “Oh, it’s good for kids to see their parents make mistakes. Then they see that nobody is perfect.” Yeah, sure, they can see me make mistakes. But we’re supposed to learn from them, and yet I keep repeating mine, to their detriment.

We’ve been working on changing our attitudes, and finding ways to cope with overwhelming emotions, but sometimes stopping and taking a breath just doesn’t seem to cut it, or even come to mind.

So, where do we go from here? I don’t know, and maybe that’s what bothers me. I can’t find an answer, besides apologize and move on (and hope beyond all hope that the neighbours ignored us).

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